how?

agosto 30, 2021

And how much can i ask the world?

to give more time, to give it to him?

how much? how come? how can i?

to who?

to god?

i’m feeling the lump on my throat

The memories are still so vivid

I was too young

I didn’t know anything

Now I know a little too much

I hate how distant i am from everyone

I’m sure i could’ve talk to you so many times more

I want to talk to you

I want to listen

I want us to remember when i was young

And full of life and full of love

How did you protect me, made me smile

And laugh and walk

I don’t want you to go yet

Please

How can i ask this?

How the world could give it to me?

How can someone so strong

How come that my superhero?

How?

I’m sorry if am crying

I’m sorry if i cry when i see you

I know you've never seen me cry before

You have no idea the amount of times i had, tho

Cry

I cried so many times

And nothing felt too heavy for doing it like now

I’m sorry for being such a shitty person

i’m sorry if can’t save you

I’m sorry that i can do nothing at all

I want to hug you so much

I’m painfully scared of knowing

Of imagine.. that maybe

I won't be able to do it anymore

Breathe

Think positive

Manifest

I’m scare

I’m not that strong

My family wouldn’t know

Im sorry for that as well

For crying in school and smile at home

Im sorry if I didn’t reach you

That i didn’t talk to you

Again, i’m so sorry, because I know

I know that I would have felt protected

just like when I was little

just how i want you to feel right now

I have beg for so many things

That I feel stupid doing it now

I don’t know what to do

I don’t want this to happen

How can I prevent this from happening?

Can someone

Please

tell me-

how?

Maybe I love you too much

Maybe that’s why i can’t see the sun

maybe this side of the sky

It’s my accomplice

And,

maybe it’s reflected up there

the sadness, fear and frustration of it all

But,

i love you so much

that the blue is still in sight

that you can see it between the clouds

Maybe,

I want so much that you feel my love

that even though the sun is hidden

you can still feel some warm.

oh, fuck, i do

i love you too much.

VAN.

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