I want to drown

 feeling the fire in my throat

 and the ache down my esophagus

 I'd love to feel my belly in pain,

 the way hell would feel inside of me

 please set me on fire

 burn it all until I can't breathe

 burn my pain

 burn my worries

 burn me- (I’ll, by myself)

 until there’s nothing left

 nothing but ashes

 and secrets, and whispers to blow away

let it be with whiskey, gin, vodka, tequila or brandy

 blaze your thoughts

 undo the future around the corner

 undo that uncertain life

 and make it fly

 like dust drag by the wind

 just like autumn leaves

 flying away from the trees

 drown

 suffocate yourself

 until you even forget how you used to exhale

 play with the memory of anxiety

 make fun of the panic attacks

 and squirm at the thought

 of how it was,

 just let them vanish, in a gulp outside

 throw up the frustrations

 the painful memories

 you can not-

 oh you will

 clutch your hopes in your arms

 and drink them all afar

 sip them until they no longer exist

 drink me, until I disappear

 I want to drown and not remember

 I want to close my eyes and see everything spin

 spin, swirl and twist, erase everything in sight

 let them pull me away, abroad and far

 bury me on alcohol

 and taste the blood in my tongue

 forget you're alive

 and plunge yourself back to the dark

 blur everything

 I don't want to think

 can I make everything fade out in one sit?

 Blurred view, lights converging

 please let me forget everything by the next day

 give me pleasure

 with anyone, I don't care

 I want to feel, or not

 maybe I just want to be numb

 I'm craving

 I'm yelling

 I'll swallow the pain

 in the form of a shot of liquor

 just take it all down my throat

 distress ebbing away in 1.5 fluid ounces

 and feeling isolated, I swear

 I'll close my eyes shut

 just to wake up in the morning 

with not a single thought.

- inopia. 

VAN.